Did You Miss Me?

Hello ToddleTootians! Yes, that’s you, you like?;)

So I know it’s been a bazillion years since I’ve posted anything on ToddleToots and for that I do apologize. It’s been a crazy last 4 months for us-WOW is that all it’s been, I swear it has seemed longer! 

Anyway, I’ve missed ToddleToots, “hearing” the hilarious things your kiddos come up with, and of course YOU! 

What have you been up to? I want to hear all about it ;) And of course, I want you to share with me your Toots! Make sure to sign up for our email updates or join our networked Blogs via Facebook Page to stay up to date with all things Tootable (and yes, I make way to many silly and inappropriate tooting funnies here, but it’s ok it’s MY blog).

“What have I been up to?” You ask. Well, thanks for asking. Here’s a rundown:

• Shortly after I left you, Lil Toot turned 2 years old!! 
• We decided to leave our home and family to move across the country from WA to TN.
• Packed up our house at the end of Aug (lease ended) to move into my in-laws basement for a month until we were able to leave. Living out of a suitcase for a month, sleeping with Lil Toot for 2weeks while Daddy Toot was out of town scouting apartments, emotionally ready to leave but not yet able, made for a very long month at times. But we survived!
• Beginning of Oct we hit the open road traveling for 5 days. My in-laws, aka the grandparents, joined us on our journey driving the Penske truck (or as Lil Toot dubbed it “grandpa’s big yellow truck”). PEOPLE 5 days in a car with my Lil Toot; to her credit, she did FANTASTIC! Anyone traveling for hours and days on end would have moments- I sure did, but she did better than expected:)

We are moved in, but still trying to get settled in our new place of residence and LOVING every bit of it!! We are excited for the new adventure we are on and expectant for all the opportunities to be had.

I’m excited to get ToddleToots back up in full swing, that said, with all that is going on in my life at this time my time is going to be a bit limited. So to get started I’m going to plan on regular Toots every other Tuesday instead of weekly at first. 

Here’s where you come in...

I want your Toots! Send me your lil ones’ funnies and I’ll make sure you get credit and hopefully some press for your own blog. We are all about laughing and sharing here at ToddleToots!  It’s easy, you can send me an email via the link or even on our Facebook page.

I can’t wait to hear from you!!

MamaToots

Tuesday's Toots! #18

Happy Tuesday! I'm back with some Toots! to share with you (hehe)...

Small Girl @smallgirltweets

Mummy: I spy with my little eye something beginning with L. It makes the light go on.

Smallgirl (4yo): "Um.... Lectricity?"

Smallgirl (4yo): "Mummy, look at my beeeootiful lipstick!" 

Mummy: Oh, that is beautiful, #smallgirl. What colour is it?

Smallgirl: "Green. Like a beeeootiful flower stalk!"

Kimberly A.

I just told my 3yr old to zip his lips for a second, and he looked at me serious as can be.."I don't have a zipper mom" lol

Nicole G.

We went to visit a friend who's cat had just had kitties. My 3 yr old son comes running in the house yelling, "mom, she has titties!! I love her titties! Mom, can I hold her titties? Mom, can we take her titties home? Mom!!!!" And my friend frantically looks to me for an explanation. As I'm dying of laughter I explain. He loves your KITTIES :) 

Thanks to you all for sharing! I apologize for my absence these last couple weeks, but life happened... what do you do? ;) So to make up for it, I want to share this creative and funny video with you. (It's a bit long, but I hope you enjoy it)

MamaToots!

Tuesday's Toots! #17

It's a Happy Tuesday! Not only because it was a nice extended weekend, but because I remembered it was time for the Toots! Yay me! ;)


Ok so let's get tooting...

Jodey C.M.

After a discussion about my friend having a baby I ask 7yo son how babies come out of a mommies tummy. He replies ever so seriously... "out their butt mom... duh!"

Ami H. @MuseInks 

8 y.o. plopped in front of TV to watch "Penguins of Madagascar" DVD, announcing "I'm gonna turn my frontal lobe off for awhile." 

Julie @Balancingmama 

My 3-year-old daughter made a clown puppet in school today. I asked his name... she replied, "This is Granddad when we was a clown." Apparently, my father was once a clown.

Betty Sue @kidzquotes

"Kesha brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack? I don't think her dentist would like that very much' A(7ys)

Small Girl @smallgirltweets

Smallgirl:(4yo) The television's just said I'm watching bedtime. I'm not, am I? The television doesn't know everything! The television doesn't have eyes. Unless there's people with eyes on the television.

Small Girl @smallgirltweets

Where's your pencil sharpener, smallgirl? 

Smallgirl (4yo): "It's in the kitchen bitchen." #begyourpardon

Preschool Gems @preschoolgems

"Yep, I'm a hairy gingerbread man."

Mama Crass @SassyPieHole

Me: guess who's coming tonight

4yo:Who?

Me: miss erin!!

4yo: Hoo-RAY! We will paint our fingernails and our toe fingers!

Kat B. @MyMuses

R(5yo)"Today we had baby Jesus class" 

Me "Really? What did you learn about baby Jesus?" 

R(5yo) "I don't remember, I was drawing zombies!"

Thanks everyone for sharing! Remember to let me know the cute/funny words your kiddos say (or if they're older use to say) that only a "Mama could interpret"such as: "yight" for "light" or "nana" for "banana" (obviously everyone knows that one, but just so you get the idea ;)

Happy Tuesday to you all!

MamaToots! 

 I'm Linking up with  The Life of A SippyCup Mom


Also linking up with Bees With Honey 

Tuesday's Toots! #16

Happy Tuesday!
(Woot! Woot! Yes, that's me cheering for myself since I remembered it was Tuesday this week ;)


For a new post coming up I'm asking the question, "What words do your little ones say that only you would know what they are talking about? i.e.: 'lip it' for zip it" Let me know in the comments below or hit the submission button on the home page.


Let's get Tooting!...

Small Girl @smallgirltweets

Smallgirl (4yo) is playing the piano. "Do you want it loud or quiet or miggle-sized?"

Betty Sue @kidzquotes

Went out one night all decked out & from 4 yr old got 'Mum, WHY are you wearing that halloween costume??'

Shawna T. 

So, I am dancing around the kitchen and 6yo daughter looks over at me and says, "totally unprofessional"...... :) I think what she meant was “inappropriate” but she should know me by now.

Kiersten W. @kierstenwhite

Son, on the reasons he wants to be a peacock: "And I would get to eat dirty corn off the ground!" A sound and logical argument indeed

Rachel L. @RachelsRantings

My 4 yr old told my husband practice starts at 5pm bc "Daddy is always late so I told him an earlier time." Smart boy.

Tyanna A.

My 2 yr old just yelled with her hands held high in the air "the word is my nemesis!!" Thank you 'Phineas & Ferb'. :)

Mama Crass  via SassyPieHole (FB)

‎"There's hair in my fingers!" (she says with a pretzel rod in her toes)

Jodey C. M.

me: that is a stinky diaper!

3yo son: sorry mom I eat cacos (tacos)

me: I missed you B (3yo son)!

3yo son: mom I miss me too

me: how do you feel about that man that hurt all those people?(OBL)

7yo son: I would punch him in the tummy and flush his head in the toilet.

Thanks for the smiles and laughs everyone! I hope you enjoyed. Remember: "What words do your kiddos say that only you can interpret?"

MamaToots

I'm linking up with Bees With Honey. Go check her out.

Tuesday's Toots! #15

Yes, I am fully aware that it is Thursday. But on Tuesday, I was not apparently in my right mind enough to know that it was, well, Tuesday and I forgot (oh the shame!) to get the Toots out. Sad I know, but a recurring issue that I call "mama brain". I did have some memory issues before I had my lovely Lil Toot, but not near what it is now. 

So get ready for Tuesday's Toots... on Thursday (at least they both start with "T's" right? ;)

Real Life With Kids @Real Life with Kids

Tip #462 from my 7yo son. "Mom? You NEVER hug someone with a machete." Then, "Mom, you do know what a machete is, don't you?"

Linette S.A.

when I was sick the other day, M(2yo daughter) "Mommy shut your eyes" she starting singing me the song from the movie Tangled. ... "let your power shine, let the clock reverse..." so sweet. We just might have a little singer on our hands.

Megg J. @meggjensen1

My kids are signing Darth Vader's Imperial March with one word - butt. *Welcome to my house*

Elizabeth H.

While I attempted to correct J for hitting his brother, he corrected me. "Mom, I didn't hit him! I punched him."

Wind Mill Tales @windmilltales

Greeted my DD after nursery today with, “Hiya beautiful”. She replied, “No mummy I'm gorgeous!”

Preschool Gems @preschoolgems

"I don't want to be myself anymore because I can't stop eating cheese."

"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! I like you as much as I love our couch, and I really love our couch."

Thanks for everyone's comments and Happy THURSDAY! 

MamaToots

You Know You're A Mama When...

There are many mushy things I was thinking about writing about Mothers (and perhaps I'll save that for another time), but I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it and finding the right words. So instead, in honor of Mother's Day, I thought it would be fun to do a post similar to "You know you're a child of the 80's if..." I asked for outside participation on this one, so if something sparks a thought, feel free to continue adding them in the comments!


"You Know You're A Mama When..."

In public, sans kids, you catch yourself (hopefully) right before shouting "Bus!" bc you know they get excited when they see one as you drive in the car.

Your out for coffee with another adult (also sans kids) and yet you still cut your banana bread into four's bc, well that's how you like to eat it of course ;)

Looking for your keys in your purse, you pull out diapers, wipes, toys, spoons, etc until you remember that you gave them to your kid to keep them occupied in the car.

You keep watching their cartoons even when your kid got bored and moved on.

You realize that it may or may not have been several days since your last shower and you may or may not be wearing a shirt with spit up and dried God knows what on it for perhaps the second time.

You let your daughter keep pulling the heads off your flowers bc well, she gets so excited to pick them and bring them to you.

You're looking for a napkin in the car and all you can find are diapers.

You start having choppy conversations bc your brain gets use to constantly being interrupted... no? so that's just me then? ;)

You forego the things on your “to-do list” to read a book, play legos, or whatever it is that the little person pulling on your leg to get your attention away from your computer, Iphone, or whatever the case may be to do their bidding.

You realize that you are about to go out the door and you got everyone else ready but your makeup isn’t finished or you forgot to brush your teeth or your hair didn’t get done.

Your heart is so full of a love that you had never known before until you were "Mama".

~~~~~

Your little on is sick and you pray that you could just trade places with him/her ~ Patty M.

You can’t close the door when you go to the bathroom, at least not expectin it to stay closed ~ Kimberly A.L.

You get a snotty, slobbery kiss from your toddler and it doesn't gross you out as much as you thought it would BK (Before Kids). Also, I never drank coffee until I had kids. Now I completely understand the need. ~ Not Just Another Jennifer @MidwestMomments

You start looking at diaper bags the same as you did those awesome leather purses currently hanging in your closet.

You stop caring if people think your house is nice and you just wish they'd think your kids were nice.

You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on.

You have signed a check with a crayon.

You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.

You wipe other kids' noses.

You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin.

You leave for a date with your husband carrying a diaper bag instead of your purse.

You know your a mom when the weekend isnt really the end of your week. ~Rachael V.

You go outside in freezing temps to spray poop off of a diaper.

You can't remember when your last shower was but you can remember what the kid had for snack three days ago. ~Catherine S.W.


You bed time is not only quiet time for the kids but for you as well.
Your house is trashed 20 min after you cleaned it.
Your freezer is stocked with chicken nuggets and fries ~ Jodey C. M.

~~~~~

A very dear friend of mine was inspired to write her own blog post to coincide with this topic. Please go check out her post to read more of her hilarious "You know you're a Mama when..." at Improperly Forward. Here are a few of hers:

You're walking through a store and a baby crying six aisles away suddenly has your shirt soaked in milk and you're in a cold sweat. No one else on earth can perform such a trick.

You can distinguish cries by level of importance/emergency.  After a few year's practice you can also pick your kid's cry out of a million others within a three block radius when they crash their bike and skin their knee. Again.

After a day of being whined to, yelled at, and brought to near tears by the offender, as soon as their baby blue eyes close for sleep all is forgiven, and they bring you back to being the luckiest girl in the world.

~~~~~


Thank you to everyone who contributed, it was a lot of fun!!


Happy Mother's Day to all you Mama's out there!
MamaToots




I'm linking up today with Bees With Honey's blog hop click the cute badge for more fun!

Guest Post: The Small Things

Today I have a special guest post from wonderful Mama of 3, Nicole G. Please welcome her as she shares from her own experiences that I know we all can relate to as "Mama".

~~~~~~~

Sometimes as moms and dads we are so wrapped up in making sure that everything is “done”. We get up early to make sure the lunches are made and the hair is fixed and breakfast is eaten. We rush around yelling and screaming and grabbing last night’s homework and buckling in the car so we’re not late for school. Then we either go on our way to work or back home to a mountain of laundry that awaits us. We try to fit in our daily workouts and remember to take out the frozen meat for tonight’s dinner. Dinner, baths and bedtime are a blur…and it’s a great night when we don’t get woken up a couple times for drinks or potty time. We do it all day after day. Week after week. Month after month. It’s like a well oiled machine…But there are those times in our lives when we feel like we may have run out of oil. The machine is not running so smoothly and it all needs a quick trip to the mechanic. In those times when everything is falling apart that’s when I remember the little things that mean so much to me, the small miracles that make me smile.

When I’ve hit the snooze button too many times and now we’re all running around and screaming at each other like crazy chickens, I think of the way my three babies smelled last night after their baths. There is nothing like the smell of baby lotion on clean babies. Nothing. 

When I’ve realized that I left a wet load of laundry in the washing machine for three days and now it all smells like a wet dog. I think of the sound of my kids giggling while their dad wrestles with them on the living room floor. That little child like giggle that makes you think that all is right in the world. Where they laugh so hard, you’re sure they’re either gonna throw up or pee their pants. Then they beg him to stop tickling them, only to say, “Do it again, Papi”. 

When I’ve had “one of those days”, and I’ve yelled at my two year old so much that my throat hurts and Sesame Street isn’t even over yet. I think of the way it feels when he falls asleep in bed with me. When I can hear his still small breath and feel his heart beating next to mine, and know that he’s dreaming of dump trucks, superman costumes and Toy Story fruit snacks. 

When I get the urge to be brave and try something new for dinner. I rush to the store, work for hours, only to find out that none of my family liked it, I throw it all away and end up crying while I’m doing the dishes. I think of the way my daughter looked after school as she ran to the car when I picked her up. How she had the biggest smile on her face and waved at me from across the parking lot like I was her most favorite person in the world and she’d been dying to see me. 

When I finally get my kids’ jammies on and teeth brushed and they’re in bed, and I feel like this day was never going to end, I pray with them. And I hear their sweet little innocent voices saying, “We love you Jesus, Amen” I realize that this is why I do it. This is why I get up in the middle of the night when someone is thirsty. This is why I gave up sorority parties and college dorm room experiences. This is why I choose to forgo luxurious things in exchange for diapers, nursing bras, and footie pajamas. 

I am a mom. Things aren’t always going to be smooth and easy. I will have my fair share of bad days. But everything will be alright as long as I remember the little things that make me get up in the morning and want to do it all over again.

What are the little things in your life that make you smile? 

~~~~~~

Thank you Nicole! It's so important to remember 'the small things'. I often find myself getting caught up in the "to do's" for the day or in the "how I think things should go" which usually don't, but then I take a deep breath and look at the "bigger picture" or in my case my Lil Toot. Even now as I'm trying to get this post ready she's pulling at me to go play, trying to sit in my lap, and wanting to "help" type. So I took some time to play. Yes, it took me longer to get this out, but her shriek of excitement made it worth it :)

Please give Nicole some feedback in the comments.

MamaToots

Tuesday's Toots #14

Happy Tuesday and Welcome Spring!

SmallGirl @smallgirltweets

Smallgirl (4yo): "Daddy! The fingers are dancing on your head! They're dancing on your gap!"

Smallgirl: "I'm a star. You can sing Twinkle Twinkle at me if you like."

Eliska @eliskacounce

Me to five year old son: Your brother wants to be a detective when he grows up. What do YOU want to be? 

Son to me: a refrigerator. Of course

Allison S. @aswinn

Just got upset at 4 yo over her behavior. She looked at me, put hands into the air and said, "No worries, mom."(4 going on 14)

Julie @balancingmama (More from this post at 3MomsIn1)

(Easter Morning) Later that morning, we tested her patience at church. We attended a service with family, at a church we had not previously visited. The sermon was a bit long. For us, and especially for Amelia (3yo). 

"Mommy!", she exclaimed mid-sermon (not quietly), "He is talking too much!" I could see a couple grins and stifled giggles from the people directly in front of us. 

And a bit later, questioning the screens that only showed song lyrics and bible verses, "Where is the bunny movie?!? I don't like this show!" The poor kid thought we were at a movie. 

Betty Sue @kidzquotes

My 7yo daughter to 10yo sis after gawking at buxom woman sculpture: 'Well, you'll probably be getting YOUR hooters soon!'

Michelle I. @emjayinns (via @kidzquotes) 

One of my twin 3 year old girls told me "I love you mummy but I like pooing in my pants"

~~~~~~~~

Thank you to everyone for sharing your cute comments with me! I hope these made you smile. 

In honor of the upcoming Mother's Day (May 8th in the US) I am working on a post for Mama's and would love your participation! Fill in the blank... (either in the comments or send me an email)

"You know you're a Mama when ___________________"

MamaToots!

Tuesday's Toots! #13

Hello Tuesday! Welcome to another Tuesday's Toots! A place to share the funny things kids say and do, to give us a laugh and make us smile :)


Before we release the Toots (hehe), a quick call for submissions: Mother's day in the US is coming up soon and I'd like to run some guest posts especially for mothers. I'm looking for posts along the lines of 'What being a Mama means to you', 'Favorite parts about being Mama', 'Most influential or profound thing you've learned being Mama', 'Funny Mama stories', etc. If you feel inspired to write something (and it doesn't have to be long) please send it to our email: toddletoots (at) gmail (dot) com. I'd like to start running them the beginning of May. Thank you for your consideration.


Let the Toots begin!


(this 1st one was suppose to be included in the Innocent Insults post, but it got overlooked and I apologize to Mary)


Mary Quite Contrary (@LincolnAndMe)

20month L calls every old or graying person with long(ish) scruffy hair "Scrooge".. He shouts it and points at them laughing out loud! He thinks they are Scrooge! Has been doing it since christmas! Men AND women. Anyone with gray/scruffy hair! He just points and goes "Scrooge!" Or "humbug"!

Michael C.

Me: "Hey M, are you sure grandpa has a toothbrush at his house for you?"

8yo Son: "Yeah dad, I'm 100% sure. Every time I go over there grandma pulls out a toothbrush from my childhood for me to use."


Me: "Your childhood?"


8yo Son: "Yeah that means from when I was a little child."

MamaCrass (@SassyPieHole)

‎Me:(where'd you put you're socks)

3yo daughter: "Where'd you put you're socks?"

Me:(stop it)

3yo: "Stop it!”

Me:(where are your socks)

3yo: "Where are your socks?"

Me:(stop it)

3yo: "Stop it!"

Me:(you're really frustrating me)

3yo: "I'm really frustrating myself!"

Small Girl (@SmallGirlTweets)

4yo: “My turn to hide Daddy. You look in all the other rooms and then at last in my room behind the chair to find me. Okay?"

Dainty B (@DaintyBallerina via @SmallGirlTweets)

Little boy next door: 'Look! I'm a dragonlion! No, a dandefly! No, a dragon dandy, (pause) ...I'm a fly!'

Laura M.

My 20month old daughter gets into my unmentionable’s drawer and puts a pair of my underwear on her head and my bra over her shoulders struts around and say’s: “Pannies. Mama’s pannies and ploopies (boobies)”


Mama's Toots...
Yesterday I put Lil Toot (21mo) down for a nap which she was more than ready for, but amazingly (since she had gotten up for the day at 5AM) got a 2nd wind. She didn't fuss, but began her personal monologue that I was privy to via my video monitor (probably my favorite baby gadget of all FYI). 


To set the scene, she began playing with a couple of her favorite little stuffed animals that are in her crib for such occasions as this. Realize what is about to take place occurred over a period of about 30 min. She was talking to  Elmo and then to her other 'guy' and laying each down for their own "nigh nigh" time. She then would jump up and play with them along her crib's edge. This of course made me nervous as I could see them plummeting to their pretend death and then nap time would be ruined because she simply must have Elmo! Phew all were safe. She would then lay down for a very brief moment and somewhere during all this she misplaced her binky so she was talking extra loud.


Now she was zooming around the inner perimeter of her crib like a race track, "Elmo! Boo! (the name of the other 'guy') Mama... Daddy... A says 'Ah', B says 'buh' 'buh', C says 'Kuh'... Out!... 18,19,20... T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z... sing with me...Yay, good job! (clapping)" all the while never fussing just getting louder and louder until she was simply shouting. -She tends to use counting and the alphabet as a self-soothing tool-  Once again back at the edge making her guys play on the edge until the unthinkable happened and I hear, "Oh no, Oh no... Boo dropped!" and she remained looking out over the edge but to my surprise still not upset. She made another lap around the 'track' then stopped back to mourn her lost friend, "What happen Boo?... Boo fall down." 


Moving on she sat with Elmo and shouted, "MAMA! MAMA!" again not upset just shouting wanting me to come save Boo. Quickly detoured she saw her little squishy book in her bed and gave a surprised intake of breath (it's always in there, but you'd think it was something brand new), "Book! Read Elmo," and she sat opening the book for Elmo. Then up again around the 'track' once more for the grand finale, flopped to her tummy, and was instantaneously asleep as if hit by narcolepsy. 


Happy Tuesday!
MamaToots